Skeletons by Jane Fallon

This is a silly book - way too 'chick lit' for me. The plot is unrealistic and the characters two dimensional so it is difficult to maintain any connection with this novel. There is no substance to this book and I wouldn't recommend it.

The Accursed by Joyce Carol Oates

A novel about a curse which apparently befalls the University town of Princeton, and seems to particularly affect one wealthy and powerful family.  It sounds brilliant but I found the story heavily slow, the characters one dimensional and uninteresting and the writing cumbersome.  I found it very difficult to finish this book and my sense of relief when I came to the end did feel like the lifting of a curse.

The Sea Sisters by Lucy Clarke

The plot is ridiculously predictable, the characters unrealistic and unlikeable and the writing average. Don't even take on holiday. Cheers for the recommendation Amazon.

Where We Belong by Emily Giffin

As you may know, I have an unbreakable moral code which prevents me from abandoning a novel in favour of an alternative.  I've made my bed, I'll lie in it.   50 pages into this book, my code chaffing at my heels, I realise I have met my nemesis.  I cannot finish this book and look myself in a mirror.  I faced down the only remaining option -  I must give up reading altogether.   So be it.   I drafted a list of a few substitute hobbies, I investigated evening classes, I bought some knitting needles, contemplating a possible social event I even went so far as to have a conversation with a colleague.   But deep down I always knew that the cocktail of hatred, depression and cynicism which makes up my personality is not conducive to any activity involving other humans.   I picked up this book, took a deep breath and counselled myself – "they are merely words" – as I forced this down in instalments which I can only hope were not large enough to do permanent damage.   I survived this but the consequences are written all over my face and I urge you to back away, screaming.

Fifty Shades of Grey by El James

This is terrible. It has no redeeming features. It is just porn. And who wants porn that goes on for over 500 pages (volume 1)? Oh. Everyone apparently.

I suppose you have to grudgingly admire her. It can't have taken longer than 3 hours to write and, apart from the inconvenience of everyone knowing your depraved, don't know any words over 2 syllables & have seemingly never read a novel, it must have set her up for life. Maybe she can afford to buy a dictionary AND a thesaurus now.

I can only pray to every god I've ever heard of, even the weird celebrity ones, that the recent craze of turning every book ever into a film, draws a very firm, very inflexible line here.

Don't read this Mum. Don't read this anyone. But especially you Mum.

You Deserve Nothing by Alexander Maksik

The title misleads.  I curled up with my blanket and cocoa expecting to read a vicious tale of hatred and malice and was sorely disappointed.  This novel is about a love affair between a teacher and his pupil in an international school in France.   The book is split into chapters each narrated by a different character telling their own narrative of the year in which the affair takes place.  Some of these characters are bearable.  Most are not.  There are a lot of literary/quasi-philosophical debates between the students which were so terrible I am clenching my teeth even recalling them.  The plot is predictable although not formulaic, so there are some positives.  In summary, this is a slightly better than average romance novel.

The Next Always by Nora Roberts

I will be sending a strongly worded letter to the Amazon 'recommendations' department re this novel. It is proper chick lit. The plot was boring, predictable and idealistic and the characters one dimensional and unrealistic. I could feel my brain cells dying. There's better writing in the real life section of Take A Break. Almost the only verb used was 'to grab' (showers, movies, breaks, all sorts of food and drink) and this is an actual extract:

"The extra project wasn't as much of a time suck as he'd feared."

One has to assume the inclusion of this sentence won the author a bet.

My personal morals did not allow me to give up on this book. That, and the promise I made to that effect to Brown Owl when I collected my readers badge. But if I'd been allowed one reprieve, I would have cashed it in.

Never Let Me Go, Kazuro Ishiguro

I didn't enjoy this book at all. I didn't like or relate to any of the characters, and thought they were all very hazily and inconsistently drawn. The plot is not properly explained and those parts of it that are, are faintly ridiculous. I will not be watching the film or re-reading this book and I wouldn't recommend it.

Ellis Island by Kate Kerrigan

Cheesier than an Essex boy’s chat up lines. An Irish girl’s husband gets shot in circumstances which are completely unexplained but may have something to do with ‘the Troubles’. The husband survives but is paralysed and the wife does what any wife would do in the circumstances – piss off to America. But then she comes back again – airs, graces and silk stockings in tow – just in time to rediscover how much she loves her husband. I shall stop there or I am in danger of writing a review which has more two syllable words in it than this 400 page novel did.

The Devil’s Star by Jo Nesbo

A guy from work recommended this book. I now understand that I do not have the same taste in books as the guy from work. This is a very standard airport crime thriller of the “free with the Daily Mail” variety. The characters are very black and white – with a hero cop and a Very Evil Man. It is at least marginally engrossing for the first 300 pages because it is not 100% obvious which of the 6 or 7 unrealistically degenerate side characters is the Very Evil Man. But the last 200 pages are a struggle.